By: Brian Gilleece
As performers in Hollywood and very highly skilled people of course ego will come in to play, it is pretty dang synonymous trait with Hollywood and Actors but what if that ego could slow your growth, derail your progress and F*ck up your paycheck? We would want to fix that right? That's right, let's check with our ego's and see if they are getting our way or helping to pave our way.
PS- I know the picture says Eggo not Ego, work with me.
WAYS TO TELL IF YOUR EGO IS JACKING YOU UP...
1. DISLIKING WHEN PEOPLE SUCCEED
Can you remember when someone you know booked a show, movie or commercial? What was your reaction? Were you happy for the person or envious of what they’ve attained? People with their egos not in-check don’t appreciate when someone achieves success; especially success that they feel was rightfully theirs.
Takeaway: Even if you don’t want to congratulate someone, do it anyways. You’ll feel better and likely find that more doors open up for you.
2. REDIRECTING THE ATTENTION BACK TO YOU
The need to always be the center of attention no matter what – in meetings, at parties, during conversations, etc. – is a telltale sign that the ego has become a little too big. Everyone should have the chance to be seen and heard. Plus do you really want to be "on" all the time? Save it for the screen.
Takeaway: Understand that attention-seeking behavior is counter-productive; it’s also obnoxious, rude, and annoying. Even when you may not necessarily feel like it, give others the chance to be seen and heard.
3. CONSTANTLY COMPARING YOURSELF
Here’s the thing: no matter what you do; the skills you have; the talent you’re born with; the look that you’ve got; the intelligence that you possess – you’ll find someone, somewhere that is “more” talented, attractive, smarter, and successful....Thats just how it is.Comparing yourself only succeeds at one thing – making you upset and potentially undermining any progress that you’ve achieved in the process. It’s an absolute waste of time and energy. Being the best possible at what you’re attempting to achieve is all that you should need.
Takeaway: Instead of likening yourself with others, focus on what you can control – your effort, progress and persistence. You’re a special, unique person, and you shouldn’t require validation by comparing yourself with others.
4. CRAVING RESPECT AND RECOGNITION
The need to feel appreciated is normal and healthy. We all want to feel that our contributions are recognized and valued. Egotists take this need to another level by always needing to feel validated through excessive acts of respect and recognition. If you are needing to be validated as an actor, you be may be waiting a while, how many time do people get nominated for Oscars and Emmys etc and not win. Maybe just take the recognition as icing on the cake of a really cool life.
Takeaway: The only respect that you should require is self-respect. The fact that you’ve done a good job and gave your best effort is enough. People will recognize your efforts and contributions, while in turn giving you the respect and recognition that is due.
5. ALWAYS BEING DEFENSIVE
The ego is something that will protect and defend itself from unpleasant feelings. For those with an excessive ego, they will take any subtle disagreement and turn it into an argument. They perceive any resistance to their thoughts and actions as “attacks”. Jess & Bay & Sarah see this alot when trying to coach actors on what may not be working and trying to help right the ship. If things are not working you need to be open to change from people who have incentive to make things work, you need to check the ego and accept help, it's just reality.Being defensive on a continuous basis can damage relationships, career and personal growth, and make them more critical – of themselves and others. It’s simply a bad personality trait to have.
Takeaway: Make the attempt to actively listen while accepting resistance and constructive criticism. People who resist a thought or idea are often not doing so out of contempt, so don’t take it personally.
6. SETTING UNATTAINABLE GOALS
Setting goals is a powerful, productive action that empowers us to strive for excellence and help stay on track to actual achievement in life. It is human nature to desire accomplishment and the rewards that come with achieving a goal.However, setting unrealistic goals is counterproductive; often done out of pride or ego. No matter how unachievable or unrealistic, egotists set these goals to internally demonstrate their superiority. We have all met these actors, they want to play the new version of some new super hero but can't seem to get their hands around a co-star, maybe work on that first before marvel wil be interested in throwing a suit on you ok ace. This type of goal setting does nobody any good and its almost blasphemous frankly, and quite insulting to people who have achieved.
Takeaway: Goals are great, but be realistic when constructing them. Further, set mini-goals that will provide immediate, actionable things that you can do to achieve the desired outcome.
9. MANIPULATING OTHERS
Egotists not only have high expectations for themselves; they have high expectations of everyone else. They believe they’re more intelligent than everyone else, so it should be easy to control them.When it comes to manipulation and control, egotists are not afraid to throw a compliment or two someone’s way to get what they want. They think of it like throwing a bone or an eager dog.
Takeaway: Regardless of the situation, don’t use manipulation as a way to get what you want. Not only will you likely be unsuccessful, but people will quickly lose trust and respect for you
DAT'S A WRAP
Yes, Ego's in Hollywood are not rare, BUT that does not mean we can fix things about our selfs that may potentially hold us back or hinder our progress. I would encourage you to really check in with your self on some of these points and see were you are at, it may even make you a bit happier a person.